Teaching, Words and the Weight We Carry

We all know that words can sting, even hurt, and stay with us for a long time. This is a common occurrence for us with student evaluations. So many times I sat with faculty members who could only focus on the one negative comment despite ten or more positive ones. That one comment was devastating. It was all they could focus on, and their reactions ranged from hurt to anger to questioning their ability as teachers. Even though I would caution faculty before they received their evaluations to focus on the positive and not be sidetracked by a negative one, it always happened. Just to be clear, I have also found myself ruminating on a negative comment. It affects us all. 

Why do these comments land so hard and stay so long? Because our brains aren’t wired to treat all feedback equally.  We are Teflon when it comes to positive comments and Velcro for negative ones. This is not my saying, but I use it a lot. The truth is, we are neurologically hardwired to respond more intensely to negative things than positive ones, including words. This phenomenon is referred to as a negativity bias (Moore, 2019; Pilat et al., n.d.; Ito et al., 2002; Vaish, Grossman, & Woodward, 2008). 

Negativity bias refers to our tendency to focus on, learn from, and use negative information more than positive information (Pilat et al., n.d.; Vaish, Grossmann, & Woodward, 2008). It is the asymmetrical way we process negative and positive occurrences, in which negative ones elicit a quicker and more pronounced response than non-negative ones (Carretié et al., 2001). It is believed to be the result of an adaptive evolutionary process that began thousands of years ago when our ancestors were constantly under threat to their survival (Moore, 2019). It results in an amplified emotional response as compared to our reactions to positive events (Pilat et al., n.d.). Neuroscience shows that negative emotions and stress can inhibit learning by impairing activity in the brain’s frontal cortex (Johnson, 2024). In contrast, positive emotions promote engagement and enhance learning capacity. According to the Broaden-and-Build Theory, positive emotions can expand thinking, generate curiosity, and foster connection (Fredrickson, 2004). 

This is why I say and believe that what we say and how we say it matters, especially as teachers. Whether we like it or not, we are role models. Students watch us and take their cue from us, both in our verbal and non-verbal communications, as well as our behaviors and actions. For example, let's say you confront a student for frequently walking into class late with her coffee, even though the policy states that students must be on time. Her immediate rebuttal is that faculty member X does it just as frequently, which you know to be true. Students notice – more than you may think. 

Why is that important? Because words have power and impact. Just as easily as they can encourage and support a student, they can cause harm. A single word from or experience with a teacher can linger in a student's mind for years. Here's a personal example. 

When I was in 7^th grade, I took French. I chose it over Spanish because we had French lessons during elementary school. I thought that would give me a leg up. We know from research that the earlier you expose kids to different languages, the easier it is for them to learn them (Byers-Heinlein & Lew-Williams, 2013). Many decades later, I still remember that day and my French teacher's comment. After reading a paragraph out loud, he looked at me, threw his hands up, and said, "That was horrible." He threw his arms up in the air and stomped around the room. "You will never learn French. You will never learn another language." I never did. His words etched themselves in my mind, and I struggled through another year. 

Words carry weight and charge – socially and emotionally. A single word can trigger inspiration or set in motion a downward spiral. Consider, in today's world, the constant exposure to charged words we all experience on a daily basis, such as crisis, collapse, scandal, outrage, and injustice. 

Summary

As educators, our words don’t just convey content—they carry weight, shaping how students see themselves and what they believe is possible. Yes, we’re human, and teaching can be stressful. But when we step into the classroom, we also step into a position of influence. Let’s use that influence to uplift, empower, and model the kind of care and respect we hope our students carry forward.

Resources 

Byers-Heinlein, K., & Lew-Williams, C. (2013). Bilingualism in the Early Years: What the Science Says. LEARNing landscapes, 7(1), 95–112. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6168212/  

Carretié, L., Mercado, F., Tapia, M., & Hinojosa, J. A. (2001). Emotion, attention, and the 'negativity bias,' studied through event-related potentials. International Journal of Psychophysiology, 41(1), 75–85. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0167-8760(00)00195-1  

Fredrickson B. L. (2004). The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Philosophical transactions of the Royal Society of London. Series B, Biological sciences, 359(1449), 1367–1378. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2004.1512 

Ito, T. A., Smith, K., Larsen, J., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2002). Negative Information Weighs More Heavily on the Brain: The Negativity Bias in Evaluative Categorizations. Foundations in Social Neuroscience. doi:10.7551/mitpress/3077.003.0041 https://direct.mit.edu/books/edited-volume/2431/chapter-abstract/64388/Negative-Information-Weighs-More-Heavily-on-the?redirectedFrom=fulltext  

Johnson J. (2024). Effect of emotions on learning, memory, and disorders associated with the changes in expression levels: A narrative review. Brain circulation, 10(2), 134–144.   https://doi.org/10.4103/bc.bc_86_23  

Moore, C. (2019, Dec 30). What is negativity bias and how can it be overcome? PositivePsychology. https://positivepsychology.com/3-steps-negativity-bias/  

Pilat, D., Krastev, S., & Warje, K. (n.d.). Why is the news always so depressing? The Negativity bias explained. The Decision Lab. https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/negativity-bias  

Rozin, Paul; Royzman, Edward B. (2001). "Negativity bias, negativity dominance, and contagion". Personality and Social Psychology Review. 5 (4): 296–320. doi:10.1207/S15327957PSPR0504_2.  

Vaish, A., Grossmann, T., & Woodward, A. (2008). Not all emotions are created equal: The negativity bias in social-emotional development. Psychological Bulletin, 134(3), 383-403. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.134.3.383